If there’s one thing I love, it’s negotiating. I know it can be intimidating and scary, but I tend to see it as a game to be played. I’ve negotiated every single job offer I’ve received (some successfully, and others less so!) as well as various car/house purchases and so on. I am by no means an expert, but I’ve learned a few things, and have helped both friends and clients with the process.

WHY should you negotiate?

I’m not going to get into reasons for the gender disparity here, but suffice it to say women are less likely than men to negotiate. Women are also more likely to face blowback when they do negotiate. That said, if you don’t negotiate, you’re facing a long term reduction in salary and benefits that can compound significantly over the course of a 30+ year career.

Given the potential for a negotiation to go sideways, a lot of people simply accept the offer as given. A couple reasons to consider asking for more include:

• More money (or other benefits, such as more PTO)! Of course, an increase in pay is the most likely ask. The vast majority of offers presented are in a range. The company giving the offer to a prospective employee rarely presents an offer at the top of the range to start. If the salary range is $100,000 – $120,000 they might offer $105,000 (for example). The company generally expects you to negotiate. It’s built into the process and their initial offer.
• Depending on the type of role, your negotiating skills can be seen as a tremendous asset. Showing your ability to have the conversation and successfully bargain can be a huge benefit. When my sister, an attorney, was offered a job recently, I coached her through the process and her prospective employer was incredibly impressed with her bargaining skills. Not only did she get more money, but they were even more pleased about their hiring decision.

How to go about the process

The absolute most important thing you can do is PREPARE. I definitely do not recommend just categorically asking for additional salary with no basis for the request.

• Do as much research as you can. Use sites like Salary, Glassdoor and Indeed to find out what typical ranges are for the role. For tech roles, I especially like Levels.fyi as a reference. Also, feel free to share some of the things you have successfully achieved in the past and how you might bring your skills to the new role. For instance, “I can bring value to this organization by implementing XYZ.”
• Do not demand more money or threaten the hiring manager. I view this as part of the process and the ultimate best outcome for both sides is a mutually satisfactory job offer. The goal is for you to be compensated appropriately, not to extract as much money as you can from the company such that there are unrealistic expectations or any financial burden on the employer’s part.
• I prefer to have this conversation a bit later in the process. It’s helpful to know what their range is, as early as possible. If you’re expecting $120,000 and find out after 3 interviews that their range is $90,000-$100,000, then you’ve wasted a lot of everyone’s time. But if the range is in line with your expectations, I wouldn’t throw out a number too early. That said, if there’s something else you’re very attached to, I think it’s fair to signal that to the employer on the early side. Don’t wait until you’ve been offered a role to mention that you only want to work part-time or need to work from home 50% of the time.
• PRACTICE!!!! If you’re at all nervous, practice with a friend or family member by role playing. Have a very good idea what you’re going to say and how you’ll respond to the possible answers. You should know ahead of time if there’s a number you just won’t go below. Also, be prepared for them to essentially say, “No, this is the best we can do.”  Again, I know this part can be scary but it doesn’t have to mean you’ve botched the whole process and ruined your prospects. This has happened to me and I have typically responded with something like, “Well, I’m disappointed but I’m still very excited about the opportunity and I look forward to working together.”

What exactly should you negotiate FOR?

Salary is the most typical thing to negotiate for but there are plenty of other things to consider. Not everyone cares all that much about a few extra thousand dollars. You might prefer extra PTO, flexibility in your work schedule or even a different title. What are the options? Again, it depends what your priorities are, but you could consider negotiating for:

• A higher starting salary
• Equity in the business (or a path to equity)
• A signing bonus
• An extra week or two of PTO per year
• The ability to work from home
• Flexible work hours
• Travel expectations (how often, what level of travel)
• Professional development/continuing education budget
• Frequency and timing of reviews 
• Bonus terms and target (i.e. X percentage of salary)
• A different title or other modification to the job duties

Some final thoughts

I recently had a conversation with some other financial planners on this topic and there were some great gems from our discussion.

• Consider interviewing for a job you do NOT actually want. It’s great practice and can give you more confidence negotiating as there’s not a big risk.
• Remember that there is a LOT more to your success in a role than the money. 
• The skills used in negotiating are transferable to so many other areas of our lives, both professional and personal. Take the opportunity to work at advocating for yourself in as many settings as possible. Again, not just for the sake of it, but because it’s great practice to be able to voice what you need and why.

I will always make myself available to women who are struggling with this. If you ever want to role play or ask me a question, please email me: danika@ xenafp.com

If there’s one lesson we’ve learned from the pandemic, it’s how to be flexible. Whether your life was completely upended, or barely impacted at all, there’s no question that the world around us has shifted dramatically in the last 13+ months. When this all began, many businesses and even industries were forced to pivot and engage with their audiences in a new way.

And as individuals, many of our lifestyles changed significantly. We may have experienced one or more of the following:

• Working from home 100% of the time, which for many people led to the purchase of a bigger home or renovations of an existing home.
• Radical changes to spending, such as reduced/eliminated travel, gas, parking, eating out and entertainment costs.
• Perhaps most profoundly, a reexamination of what is most important to us and whether we want to make any shifts, professionally or personally.

How does this relate to financial planning?

There are a couple of parallels here. You may have noticed that I do NOT offer a standalone/one-time financial plan. Why not? It’s TOO STATIC! One of the primary reasons I structured my engagements with clients to meet on an ongoing basis: life changes ALL THE TIME. 

In the last year, how many of these things have you experienced?

• Major house repairs/renovations, 
• A large bonus or salary increase, 
• A job change or new business opportunity,
• Significant changes in your spending (see above, but largely travel/entertainment=down, home improvements=up),
• A refinance of your primary mortgage, reducing your monthly payment amount,
• An IPO, merger or other significant change at your employer,
• Hiring a nanny/educator or beginning private school for your child(ren).

There’s certainly some value in a one-time 75-page plan, but it’s fairly limited, in my opinion. I prepared some of these standalone plans for clients in January and February 2020 (at my former firm). Many of these were totally obsolete within a couple months.

The process of financial planning is just that: a process. And a highly dynamic process at that. The exercises I work through with new clients, around goal-setting and defining values, are likely to be revisited and reviewed every single year. While some people are unwavering and single-minded in their focus, the vast majority of people I’ve worked with have shifting priorities.

Walking the walk

If anyone had told me 18 months ago that I would quit my job (which I very much enjoyed) to launch my own firm, I would never have believed them. Here I am, almost 9 months in with nearly 50 clients and tremendous growth; you better believe my situation is different. My cash flow has changed profoundly, and I’ve had to thoroughly revise my plans for everything from work-life balance to retirement. And that’s OK! In fact, it’s more than OK. Among other things my job satisfaction is dramatically improved. As I said, I liked my former job, but the ability to create something from the ground up is satisfying on a different level. 

My financial situation has changed and I’ve had to incorporate those changes into my “plan”. Again, I don’t love the idea of a static plan, but having something that one can adjust as needed is much more impactful. Imagine working with a planner and having an annual meeting cadence. In my case, my life a year ago could not look more different. Would my planner be able to adapt to my changing circumstances mid-year? Or would that have prompted a response like “we’ll review the changes at our next meeting” (in, say, 9 months)?

Takeaways

If you’re looking for a financial planner, I’d encourage you to consider working with someone who has this mindset around the dynamic and flexible nature of this work. Financial plans are not set in stone. If the planner or firm doesn’t have a mechanism to easily manage updates and changes to “the plan”, I’d consider continuing to search. 

If you already have “a plan”, remember that, while useful, it is likely to need regular updates and modifications. As planners, we make assumptions all the time: about inflation rates, and longevity and all sorts of things which are ultimately “unknowable”. Our job is to react to changing information and help you continue to move forward with confidence and reassurance that your money is set up to help you live your most fulfilled life.

When I was about 13 years old, my mother attended a weekend spiritual retreat, and I tagged along with her. While on the retreat I had a powerful experience in the woods and these words came to me: “You will become.” 30+ years later, I am reminded of that experience and focused anew on what I will bring to the world.

Over the past couple months, I have had the good fortune of attending two training courses led by the Kinder Institute for Life Planning; first the 7 Stages of Money Maturity and then a four-day EVOKE Life Planning training. To say these experiences were powerful is an understatement. The training process is specifically designed for financial planners and promises to help “uncover your clients’ most exciting, meaningful, and fulfilling aspirations and engage them in the work of creating their own vibrant futures, based on a solid financial architecture.”

One of the key components of the life planning process is to answer George Kinder’s 3 questions:

1) I want you to imagine that you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. The question is, how would you live your life? What would you do with the money? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back your dreams. Describe a life that is complete, that is richly yours.

2) This time, you visit your doctor who tells you that you have five to ten years left to live. The good part is that you won’t ever feel sick. The bad news is that you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live? Will you change your life, and how will you do it?

3) This time, your doctor shocks you with the news that you have only one day left to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What dreams will be left unfulfilled? What do I wish I had finished or had been? What do I wish I had done?  [Did I miss anything]?

I’ll be honest; I had heard these 3 questions many times before in podcasts and articles about life planning. I didn’t feel particularly compelled by the questions. In the course of the training, I sat down and actually answered each of the questions for myself. It was question 3 that had the biggest impact on me. My answer, simply, was “I’m not done becoming!” Actually there was a bit more to it than that, but the basic message was to continue the work I am doing with Xena Financial Planning and help my clients live their most fulfilled lives.

In the four-day, intensive training each of us was paired with another planner. We spent the next several days guiding each other through the EVOKE (Exploration, Vision, Obstacles, Knowledge & Execution) process. Each member of the group was able to fill the role of both client and financial planner. 

My experience was exhilarating. Every single member of our group left feeling energized and inspired. Not only am I motivated to go live my own life plan, I am thrilled to bring this into practice with my clients. 

Investments, tax planning and cash flow are certainly part of this process; but they are usually less important than your family, friends and true passions. With a more profound understanding of your goals, we can devise finely tuned strategies to help you make those goals a reality.

In our next meetings, I will work with each of my clients to design the life you want to live and take steps to start living it right now.